HomeOpinion & AnalysisAlcohol wrongly blamed for abuse

Alcohol wrongly blamed for abuse

If some men feel it is okay to beat, maim or kill their women because they failed to serve them choice portions of chicken or cook food the way they expect, are women safe to assume that it is perfectly sensible too, to take a knife to their men for failing to buy them designer shoes or clothes?Report by Grace Mutandwa

Many people would find the above behaviour abnormal but it seems there is quite a number of men who see nothing wrong with meting out lashings of brute force to their “errant” wives.

How does a small kitchen matter turn into such a major affront in the eyes of any sane man?

People like to blame alcohol and demons but sometimes men who turn small issues into world war three, need to just come to terms with the fact that they are only men in name.

Alcohol has been blamed for so many things and I think it is greatly unfair and I suggest that those in the alcohol business should sue some of the people who blame their bad behaviour on alcohol.

Some women have told me stories of husbands who will only eat freshly cooked food – this is food that is cooked only after the husband gets back home from work or beer drinking.

One sister has had her face re-arranged several times for failing to produce food in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes her husband gets back home at midnight and she quickly starts cooking.

It is when he shows up around 2am that they have had problems because it would also be the time the power company would decide to switch off power.

Without firewood or gas she would still be required to make a plan and get that food on the table. The husband simply refuses to eat cold or warmed up food.

Bride price is no excuse for bashing

In my view the husband who beats up his wife is just a bully who has no guts to tell her that he is no longer into her. He tells his wife that he paid a bride price and so she must do what he demands or face the music.

Do not say the woman has no choice, has nowhere to go and has no income so she puts up with this nonsense! She is highly educated, has a very good job and has made some impressive personal investments, but she is just paying the price to keep the “Mrs” before her name and to hang onto his name for as long as possible.

No matter how many elephants, buffaloes and cows someone pays in bride price, it should never be used as an excuse to humiliate and torture someone.

But then again, some women will do strange things to remain married, even if it’s to an anti-social lout who really should be locked up in Siberia.

A few weeks ago another sister lost a couple of teeth because the husband decided to come home earlier than usual [around 10pm] to find that the groundnuts he had ordered her to cook were still being cooked.

He wanted to have his supper as well as the groundnuts. When cooked unshelled, the husband expects the wife to shell them before serving them to him! In his head, this man bought himself a slave!

My question is: What are all these people doing with each other? They should not be in any sort of relationship with each other because obviously they just want to drive each other to early graves.

There is absolutely no love, just a battle of wills. I am betting my last dollar the men are merely trying to convey a long overdue message to these women — please go where you came from and stay there!

A man who loves you will not put you through that much trauma. Pain and suffering is not another buzzword for love!

Are you so desperate that you have turned into that woman who says; “I would rather go blind than see you walk away from me” or “I hope you are never happy with anyone else but me” — both very entertaining lyrics from brilliant musicians.

Very soon we will be observing the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, and instead of having triumphant tales of overcoming this scourge, we will be telling each other yet more stories of terror and pain.


Alcohol law to require witnesses

Maybe there should also be an alcohol intake law that demands that anyone who wants to have any alcohol must first pass a drinking proficiency test which takes into account how much and how well one can hold their alcohol.

Any possible drinker must be forced to produce five credible witnesses (who include family members) to testify that they are “safe drinkers”.

There is more honour in walking away

Marital bliss and harmony is not founded on one partner’s ability to knock the other out senseless, slash their face or pouring scorn on your spouse. If you feel the need to hurt someone or are completely oblivious of his or her feelings, then you have no reason being with the person. There is more honour in walking away as friends than pummelling each other into submission.

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