Picture this scenario: You come back home when you are least expected and you stumble upon your better half in a compromising position — not only in your house, but on your matrimonial bed. How would you react? Become very angry? If so, on which of the two love birds would you vent your anger?
laughing it off with Blaah Dhee
How I wish I could sample some of your answers (maybe its time we had a feed back forum). All the same, what I’m certain about is that something not so pleasant will definitely happen. We have heard of wives who scalded their husbands with boiling water or cooking oil after finding them in compromising positions.
Some have set themselves ablaze or gone on to destroy property. Then there are some men doing time behind bars and others who have a date with the hangman after murdering either their wives or the lover boy. What is your take on the issue? Do you blame them or you sympathise with them?
The general consensus at the bhombi stombi (bottle store) was that spouses should always leave room for the unthinkable in as far as their relationships are concerned. For, what drives a spouse to maim someone or commit murder after finding the other in a compromising position is the absence of that room. Spouses should know that if it can happen to that other couple it can also happen to them.
We were told of a certain man from one of the high density suburbs whom every one of us thought deserved a place in the Guinness World Records. Only one in a 1 000 men can react the way this man reacted after finding his wife dishing it out on their matrimonial bed.
What transpired was that the wife and her stand in lover thought they had the place to themselves after the husband had left on a fishing trip for the weekend. Unfortunately, something cropped up that resulted in him returning earlier than expected. Like they always say; when the cat is away, the mice will play. On the day the mice played until the cat arrived.
As is usual with most husbands when they come to their homes, the husband just entered without knocking and headed straight to the bedroom. Upon opening the bedroom door, the sight that welcomed him could have sent any blue movie director green with envy. The two lovers’ position was a copy book extract from an X-rated blue movie.
The two lovers were inertly shocked, they remained in their position. Their shock was compounded by the husband’s emotionless expression which showed a slight trace of surprise at finding people in a room he thought was not occupied. He just mumbled apologies, “Ah ah sorry handina kuziva kuti mune vanhu. [Sorry, I didn’t know there were people in here].”
With that he closed the door behind him and proceeded outside where he went on to connect the hosepipe and began watering the garden as he whistled to himself. The wife must have worked out a way to sneak the lover out, but remained indoors awaiting her fate.
Through with the watering, the husband went indoors and continued with his normal routine-general discussion with the wife. He even talked about his aborted fishing trip and other issues. Never did his facial expression show any signs of anger, considering what he had witnessed earlier on.
Come bedtime, everything went on smoothly. When he came back from work the following day, he found out that his wife had gone. She had packed all her belongings and disappeared. Relatives and friends were baffled. The husband maintained that he does not know why his wife decided to walk out on him. On the other hand, the wife referred everyone who asked her about it to the husband. Talk of quiet diplomacy.
As we continued with the discussion on infidelity, we all agreed that no matter what, whoever, male or female-someone’s spouse is sacred. Nhamo inhamo zvayo mukadzi haakumbidzwi [No matter how difficult the situation can be, you cannot borrow someone’s wife]. Period!
From the many stories we heard, it emerged that taking the law into your own hands and meting out instant justice is not the best of solutions. Suppose you maim or kill someone and you get jailed, what will you achieve or what will happen to that relationship? Does this not give the lovers the licence to continue with their affair should they survive?
The bottom line is a spouse who brings another lover into the matrimonial home and worse still do the adult game on the matrimonial bed is the worst thing that any man or woman can live with — it is the height of insanity. Only dogs can be expected to act in such a disrespectful manner.