In any language, there is no word vaguer than the word love. Love may be more than a million meanings. Now, if love is that vague, how on earth are we expected to understand marriage, when marriage is a result of love?
laughing it off with Blaah Dhee
Why do people still submerge their personalities in marriage? For all we know, a lot of people marry for the wrong reasons and divorce for the right ones. Civil courts’ statistics will definitely confirm this line of thinking as the registers show that there are more cases of divorce being dealt with as compared to new marriages.
There are times when one is left wondering why some people even bother getting married. Could it be that marriage seems to be the most interesting enterprise which most of us come across in our lifetime? To some, marriage with all its tediums and horrors has both variety and more continuity than any other commitment they can make.
Generally, we are made to believe that for any marriage to survive the ups and downs that couples come across, its bedrock has to be undoubted never-ending love. But can a marriage built on love alone survive the test of time if there is no sexual satisfaction?
Love is an act of will. A person can choose to love or not.
Unfortunately, sexual satisfaction cannot be viewed in the same light as love. How many times have we come across stories of wives of very well off business tycoons demanding sex from their garden hands or cattle herders? Here we are talking of women who have everything (material things) a woman can dream of.
As long as there is no sexual satisfaction in a marriage, problems are bound to arise. It is for this reason that we often hear some women say, “handina kuvinga sadza pano, kwedu raivekowo [I did not come into this marriage for the food. We also had food at my parents’ home]”
However, in most of such cases, it is those of the fairer sex who always find themselves with the short end of the stick. I mean, for men it is much easier. Men can easily look elsewhere and then pretend all is well in the matrimonial home, yet it becomes a bit challenging for women.
No matter how much one chooses to put a false façade, one can never defy nature and succeed. Having sex is as natural as going to the toilet to relieve oneself. In fact, top of the list of natural pleasures a human being enjoys most are the acts of urinating, having a stool and having sex.
It requires no rocket scientist to know that should one be denied any one of the said natural pleasures, there will be trouble in all forms.
In all instances, the trouble will reach boiling point should there be no communication, worse still in a marriage situation in which sexual satisfaction has deserted. Couples should communicate. This calls for an open mind.
(Unfortunately you cannot have a discussion with an open-mind without spilling your brains out!)
One woman from Epworth took it upon herself to tackle her bedroom problems when she realised that her hubby was keeping her in sexual poverty. The husband would go for many weeks and at times months without even touching her although the two shared the same sheets every day. (Bed would be an understatement).
The most disturbing thing about this woman’s problem was that the hubby made no effort to hide it to her that he was quenching his “sexual thirst” with ladies of the night. However, the wife being the straight and down to earth old school type, decided to take the bull by its horns. She was determined to get to the bottom of the issue to save her marriage.
Some private investigation work on her part revealed to her that her husband had no serious relationship with any of the women he was sexually involved with. The relationships were more of business transactions than anything else. For, all he did was to pay and get a service. Never at any time did he ever ask for free services despite some of the women offering it to him.
The problem with her husband was that he only enjoyed and got satisfaction if he had paid for the sexual encounter. Weird as it may sound, further investigations yielded the same results — for her hubby it had to be payment first or no sex. Period!
Armed with such vital information, she made up her mind and set out her course of action. She patiently waited for that rare occasion when he would want to have sex with her. The day eventually came when the hubby showed his intentions of wanting to bed her. He was surely in the mood for sex on that day.
Come bed time, the wife did not beat about the bush, but made it crystal clear to her husband — no payment, no sex.The husband was taken aback and thought he had not heard her correctly. When she repeated herself for him to fully comprehend what she meant, he thought she was joking.
No matter how much he tried to threaten her with unspecified action, she remained steadfast. Eventually, he gave in and paid her the amount she had demanded. What a night it turned out to be, full of bliss and sexual satisfaction.
Since that day, the husband ceased going out to look for the ladies of the night. All he does now if he is in the mood for making love is to pay his wife and it is all systems go. The couple now enjoys being in a marriage with sexual satisfaction as icing on the cake. Talk of conjugal rights and satisfaction!