HomeOpinion & AnalysisThat was dog’s breakfast

That was dog’s breakfast

Letter to my people: BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People,

I think it’s fair to say you all owe me an apology.

You thought I was eccentric as your first lady, but I have nothing on the Page 2 girl.

That one has a penchant for the dramatic and she loves it. Her love for publicity is the stuff of legends.

Last week she prostrated herself before Ngwena, kneeling to give him a birthday present. Oh please, give us a break.

It was funny at first, but she needs to slow down. There is no one buying her act.

At least I didn’t impose myself on radio, TV and newspapers as she does.

Imagine, she has her personal reporters, who literally follow her everywhere, not even Ngwena has that honour.

Oh, I almost forgot, she is launching her career as a radio broadcaster.

She literally is superwoman; she is a marriage counsellor, cooking show judge, prayer warrior and now she is a radio broadcaster.

Talk of multi-tasking.

When we moved out of State House, we also left with panache it seems, because these ones have no style at all.

I won’t talk about the orange abomination that the Page 2 girl was wearing on her head.

The birthday set-up was really a mess, a dog’s breakfast, I tell you.

The decor was all over the place, no colour coordination, in fact it was terrible.

And the cake, hayas, Baba and I set the bar too high and these ones will never be able to get there, no matter how many coups kkk, I mean military assisted transitions, that they do.

Baba’s birthday celebrations were always something to behold, not what we are being subjected to by these ones.

Co-option and coercion

Ngwena has two strategies in life — co-option and coercion — and this was in full swing when Queen Bee poured in millions into sponsoring Highlanders and Dynamos.

You see, Dynamos, I don’t mind, but Highlanders should be a more principled team and should have turned down that money.

Highlanders always gave us headaches because the team and its supporters were always principled as they were a hotbed of the opposition.

Now they have been literally captured by Queen Bee and the Lacoste gang.

Some will say that Highlanders were broke and were desperate for money, fair enough.

However, if you are old enough, you will remember that Paul Siwela, a businessman once offered to sponsor Highlanders when they had no money, but he was turned down because of his links to Zapu.

What has changed?

Another question: Queen Bee is under sanctions for corruption, money laundering etc, so we need to ask the source of the money, as this could be an elaborate money laundering scheme.

And those that say Highlanders are right to take Queen Bee’s money, would you take money from blood diamonds?

A seat at the Polad high table?

Okay, may someone explain to me what’s with the craze of forming new parties?

I touched on the issue a few weeks ago, but this is getting farcical.

There’s freedom of association in Zimbabwe, but this really doesn’t make sense that new parties are formed every single day.

And the names get more ridiculous by the day.

The latest party is called DAVID. Like really? Maybe the plan to slay Goliath, kkk.

Maybe joining Polad is the drawcard here, but surely it’s getting silly by the day.

Why humiliate Benjani?

Oh dear, I feel for Benjani, he must hold the record for the shortest serving assistant coach in the history of football.

Benjani is one of the most successful football players from this country and his joining of the Warriors set up, regardless of his inexperience, was seen as a massive coup for Zifa.

So imagine, before he even got a feel of the coaches bench, he was axed by Zifa, together with the out of depth Loga.

Honestly, why did they even bother hiring him if they were going to fire him so soon?

We all know Loga had used up all his nine lives and he was on his way out.

So then, why bring in Benjani only to fire him so soon?

While Loga was a problem, everyone at Zifa is not fit for purpose and they all need to go if football in this country is to be saved.

The search for a new coach is also going to be a farcical exercise and I have no faith that the next person would be any good.

I know the door remains open for Nomara to continue in a substantive role, but, as a professional, I don’t see him wanting to stay any longer with these guys.


Stop it !!

Dr Amai. PhD (Fake)

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