HomeOpinion & AnalysisLetter to my people: The Dougie, Sis Thoko honeymoon is over

Letter to my people: The Dougie, Sis Thoko honeymoon is over

BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

Surely there’s no honour among thieves.

A year and a half ago, Sis Thoko and Dougie were celebrating victory against Nero following a Supreme Court ruling that mukomana was not the rightful leader of the opposition.

Sis Thoko and Dougie then became a destructive pair, recalling MDC Alliance legislators from Parliament at will.

They were untouchable as the “real opposition” and went to bed with Zanu PF.

But as they say, what goes around comes around.

Dougie is plotting to recall Sis Thoko from Parliament, a plot twist that no one saw coming.

Sis Thoko is now crying foul and is demanding to see minutes of a meeting that decided to recall her.

From being a Political Actors Dialogue member, leader of the opposition and all, Sis Thoko faces the ignominy of a recall.

How the mighty would have fallen.

Nero must be smiling at this turn of events and might be thinking that this is karma.

On the other hand, I wonder what’s next for Sis Thoko, whether she will quit politics altogether, join Zanu PF like her former deputy, Obert Gutu, or maybe even smoke the peace pipe with Nero.

Does Launchmore really do anything except launch more stuff.

Last week, he was in Victoria Falls where he was officiating at the inauguration of some lodges.

Surely, he has better things to do with his time than that. Well, I hope.

The opening of lodges can be done by a councillor or a district development co-ordinator  and does not need a person of Launchmore’s stature to do so.

If he had something meaningful to do, then he would not spend his time on such useless pursuits.

Then you wonder why this country is in such a mess.

It’s because those that are tasked with governing it spend their time doing meaningless things.

Launchmore is desperate to be seen to be doing something and that is why he is resorting to launching stuff daily.

The other day, it was buses and then lodges. I’m sure if you were to invite him to officially open your WhatsApp group, he would gladly come kkk.

The irony of it all is that Launchmore literally banned tourists from coming to Zimbabwe with the quarantine rules, so who will use those lodges then since no one is allowed to come into the country.

I wish someone could just whisper in his ear that Zimbabwe is desperate for governance, as things continue to be difficult for ordinary citizens.

Zimbabweans’ attention was in the past week grabbed by the heroics of Joseph Nemaisa, a former cop turned lawyer, who reportedly gunned down three people who were holding his family hostage.

Not even the writers of John Wick kkk, I watch movies too, would have thought of such a plot.

Nemaisa received a call from his son, who told him there were robbers in the house.

He didn’t think of calling the cops and, instead, he dashed home where the robbers (some of them soldiers) were and shot and killed three of them.

This was the beginning of many conspiracy theories, with some suggesting a more sinister agenda in the shooting.

I am not a gossip monger, so I will not delve into the gossip.

But I have questions on why he didn’t call the cops before first rushing home.

The official version from the police is that the robbers had gone to the wrong house and as fate would have it, they were killed.

But you would suspect that before going on their missions, robbers would first conduct a reconnaissance mission and would not budge into a house unknowingly.

I’m not a robber and I wouldn’t know, but that’s what I would do if I was one kkk.

First scope out the place and then go after your targets.

From the charge sheet, these look like experienced robbers as they have hit a number of places and got away with sack loads of money, so I wouldn’t expect such a rookie mistake from them.

But as I said, I’m not a robber and I wouldn’t know, but Nemaisa’s story leaks like a sieve.

I’m sure very soon we will hear a different version of that story.

A new United Nations Conference on Trade and Development (UNCTAD) report says Zimbabwe is the most closed country when it comes to doing business.

Ouch! Launchmore’s signature tune since the coup is that “Zimbabwe is open for business”.

That report must hurt him because it shows that his main policy isn’t working.

I think when Launchmore was saying open for business, in his head, he meant conducting official opening of businesses such as lodges kkk.

Anyway, there’s no way Zimbabwe can rank high on the ease of doing business rankings when its leader spends most of his time not governing, but launching small business.

Small businesses need love too, but Launchmore is overdoing it.

I hope that the UNCTAD  will serve as a wake-up call to Launchmore that is failing in an area where he has invested so much.

But again, does he care?

Stop It!!!!!!

Munopengaaaaaaa

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (FAKE)

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