BY ANDILE NYATHI
Most of our attitudes, decisions, characters, and behaviours are influenced by the things that happened to us in the past. So, it’s a question to most of us we ask ourselves each time we experience psychological or physical pain. How can one let go of the past hurt and move on?
Stop beating yourself over it
If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticise yourself, it’s high time you give yourself more kindness and understanding that blaming yourself will only bring pain, depression low self-esteem, and sometimes anger. Nothing positive comes from always thinking about the past painful experience and finding yourself at blame makes the situation better but learning to accept that pain is inevitable but we can forgive, treat ourselves better and lovingly when we face it.
Expect the least from the other person
Expecting more from the other person only brings more pain to us than inner peace and slows the process of letting go. That’s why it’s important that you first heal forgive yourself that such has happened to you and forgive the next person before the next person does.
Create a therapeutic environment
Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we do not have to think about it, process it, or be reminded of it as much.
Surrounding yourself with people who fill you up also helps you to forget about the bad things that could have happened to you.
Don’t let others or your problems define who you are
It’s hard to control what people do or say, but you can control how you react. Focusing on what people did to you it’s a distraction. It’s better to regain control of what you can manage and choose to live life on your terms, not someone’s. Also, don’t let a bad experience become who you are. Letting go of past experiences creates a space for new ones. Focus on the here and now and become at peace with yourself
Seek professional help
If it’s still a challenge to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional.
Understand that seeking help from someone professional doesn’t prove that you are weak but it shows you are strong and you are aware of what you are going through.
Why is it important to let go of the past?
It brings inner peace: Thinking about painful events that happened in the past only brings sadness, anger, bitterness, revenge, jealousy, and sometimes depression. But if we learn to accept what happened to us and take all the negative energy to positive energy “turning a curse into a blessing “we only find joy and innepeaceac and freedom.
It allows us to achieve our future desires: Holding on to the past only limits us from reaching our future desires. Let’s say we are planning to get to the south, it becomes hard to get there whilst your mind is focused on the things that happened in the north. Only if we let go of what happened in the north the easy it becomes to get to the south cause they will be fewer distractions, so let’s always focus on the things present than the things in the past. Sometimes the same person or the same situation we got hurt can be the best place to be in the present moment, but because of that we are still stuck in the past and we cannot see the opportunity. An example Mary got a beat from his uncle nine years ago but now the same uncle is the only one in the family and is looking up to support Mary through her studies, but because Mary is still bitter of what happened in the past, she denies that the uncle should be the one supporting her and ended up not going to school. So, let’s not be like Mary and miss an opportunity because of what happened to us in the past, but be wise enough to let go of the past no matter how hard it is and focus on the present and the future.