HomeOpinion & AnalysisLetter to my people: ‘Walking gracefully’: Introducing Dr Amai II

Letter to my people: ‘Walking gracefully’: Introducing Dr Amai II

BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

Ahh these people should have just told us that all they wanted to be was to be just like Baba and me and then there would have been no need for them to roll out the army tanks, as we would have just accepted.

No idea what I am talking about? Well, this past week we minted a new Dr Amai, or let us call her Dr Amai the Second, kkk.

All what this lot has been doing is just to copy Baba and myself and honestly, it’s getting a little embarrassing.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but this mimicry is really poor.

I studied for and got a PhD from the highest learning institution in the country.

I know some of you think it’s bogus, but look at the case against Brother Levi, it’s going nowhere because I did everything right.


Levi Nyagura

Dr Amai II does not have my intellectual prowess, so she went all the way to Asia to get an honorary doctorate.

Oh dear me, an honorary degree from a faraway country.

If she was patriotic like me and needed an honorary degree then she would have contacted Enrico Sibanda and he would have given her one from his International Institute of Philanthropy.

What ever happened to brother Enrico, a decade ago he was doling out his bogus PhDs and I am sure he would have been happy to give one to Dr Amai II.

The reporter announcing Dr Amai II’s receipt of the honorary doctorate deserves an award for ground-breaking reporting, as she reported that Dr Amai II had walked “gracefully with other doctors in the procession while resplendent in her colourful academic regalia”.

Such earth shattering journalism.

Dr Amai II now joins other illustrious doctors like Dr Gono, Dr Kereke, Dr Chiyangwa, Dr Mangudya and Dr Kaseke, kkk.

If there was one thing that was easy to predict, it was the transport crisis that has enveloped the country’s major cities.

It does not need Dr Amai II’s PhD to tell that creating such a monolithic monopoly like Zupco was always going to create problems.

Baba saw the dangers of the Zupco monopoly back in the early 1990s and did away with it.

Why this lot decided to bring it back is really strange and needs a PhD thesis of its own — there you go Dr Amai II, a topic for a dissertation for you.

In an era where they harp on about devolution, creating a monopoly is really anachronistic and ironic — I doubt that one knows what these small words mean, kkk.

Public transport was a mess and it needed fixing, but creating a monopoly was never the way out of it.

What was needed was the policing of kombis and having Zupco run side by side with them, but no, these Einsteins decided to get rid of kombis altogether.

Zupco does not have the capacity to run an efficient public transport system and this has seen the parastatal try miracles in resuscitating buses that had long been retired in effort to address the obvious gaps.

I have seen reports of people saying they left their workplaces at 5pm only to get to their respective homes at 10pm or even later.

I don’t even want to imagine the dangers that women and school children face in such circumstances.

I saw a video of a woman literally being forced to abandon her dignity as she was pushed through a window to enter a Zupco bus.

This is just nightmarish and these guys need to address this with urgency.

Kombis need to be given route authorities, police corruption needs to be nipped in the bud and kombis have to be policed.

Monopolies and command economies failed to work under Stalin, there is no chance they will work under Launchmore.

Even China has developed principles of competition in business. Why Zimbabwe wants to go backwards is anyone’s guess.

Huh! Cde Linda is an embarrassment.

Probably with nothing to say but yearning for attention, she unprovokedly declared that she had been offered US$1 million to badmouth the country.

This has been a running theme for many Johnny-come-latelies in Zanu PF, who all claimed millions were handed over to the opposition.

The only difference is that Linda claimed she had the evidence and she would post it in due course.

As the clock ticked away, Linda began pressuring herself to present evidence, but the problem is that there was really none.

Unashamedly, she claimed that the US embassy in Harare was “sweeping her emails” and deleting previous correspondence they had with her.

If you believe this, then you would literally believe anything.

But no, Linda still pressured herself to produce evidence and her best effort was an email off a mailing list inviting her to apply for a grant of US$10 000-US$15 000.

The call for applications was not about bad-mouthing the country, but rather for community development and it was neither an offer to Linda, but rather she was just being invited to apply.

Cde Linda should be first taught on how a mailing list works — that email was not sent to her only, but to thousands of people.

It was not an offer to our patriotic Cde Linda.

Anyway, after failing to produce evidence, I am sure Cde Linda will continue to hide behind her finger and claim that her emails were swept.

With such politicians hanging on Launchmore’s coattails, there’s no need to wonder why you, my people, are in a worse off position today than you were in November 2017.

Munopengaaaaaa!

Gushungo Chete Chete!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

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