HomeOpinion & AnalysisLetter to my people: ‘Let them eat cake’: Chris and Monica escapades

Letter to my people: ‘Let them eat cake’: Chris and Monica escapades

BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

Sadc once again proved that it was a useless body and not fit for purpose.

During Baba and Thabo’s days, Sadc was a principled body that stood for something.

But when they allowed the coup, I knew there was no point in having Sadc.

This past week, Sadc nominated Fortune Charumbira for the presidency of the Pan-African Parliament.

Virtue signallers said we must keep quiet and celebrate that Charumbira is Zimbabwean and this was a victory for Zimbabwe.

But how do we celebrate someone who has no regard for the Zimbabwean constitution that he is supposed to be upholding?

There is no way Charumbira can move from being a constitutional delinquent in Zimbabwe to being a symbol of pan-Africanism on the continent.

Charumbira violated the Zimbabwean constitution when he declared that chiefs were Zanu PF supporters.

A court ordered him to withdraw his statements and affirm that chiefs were apolitical.

Maybe I am growing old, but I don’t remember any such retraction.

So, by having Charumbira elected as the head of the Pan-African Parliament, what we have actually endorsed is constitutional deliquentism and shown that there are no repercussions for ignoring your own country’s laws.

I know Cde Malema means well, but his support for Charumbira’s candidacy is misplaced and he should have sought advice.

Malema called for Zuma’s resignation for much less.

Imagine if Zuma had violated court orders and the constitution, Malema would have none of it.

If they were desperate for a Zimbabwean who could take that position, they could literally have picked anyone else.

Criticising Charumbira’s election isn’t self-hate as some of you woke people might want to say, but it’s on principle and the values of who we are as a people.

Mthuli and Guvamatanga kept the nation on tenterhooks a week ago, as they announced a major press conference that would solve all our problems.

Back to that in a second.

Everytime I hear Guvamatanga speak, I get to understand why he and the consortium he led lost out on the bid to buy Barclays Bank a few years ago.

Guvamatanga haughtily claimed there was an exchange rate during the GNU days and that his bank was one of only three that was dispensing US dollar cash between 2009 and 2013.

What nonsense is this? It shows just how out of touch the chap is and if this is the calibre of people responsible for our finances, then God bless us.

Anyway, Mthuli announced his latest hare-brained idea to convince Zimbabweans to save — the gold coin.

In another country it would make sense to buy gold coins in an effort to save, but not in Zimbabwe, where the trust in government is at an all-time low.

Before 1998, everyone had savings and then came the colossal crash of the Zimbabwean dollar.

I hear you blaming Baba — stop it, kkk, it was those pesky war vets.

Savings were eroded overnight.

We moved to US dollars and then one day Panonetsa introduced bond notes and told us they were gedye and then just like that 1:1 was gone.

Now they want to tell us about gold coins, kkk.

This might be an elaborate plan to wipe out US dollars from the market with the government not having a plan on how it will pay back gold coin owners if they suddenly wanted to cash in on their investments.

Chris and Monica were living the life in the past couple of weeks, flying to the US on first class tickets.

Look, it might as well have been their money, but surely could they be so tone deaf not to realise how out of taste those pictures looked when posted on social media?

Here in Zimbabwe, Chris is a buccaneering combatant spokesperson who tells people to use overcrowded Zupco buses and then posts pictures of himself on a first class seat on a plane.

This is the equivalent of Mary Antoinette asking why the people of France were protesting for bread when they could easily have cake.

Out of touch and arrogant, I will leave it there.

I really wanted to avoid talking about Launchmore this week, but you do realise how hard that is, right?

I think someone in the government is really setting Launchmore to fail because some of the things he does are really quite strange.

You all saw Launchmore holding a certificate upside down, kkk.

But what is more tragic is that the Information ministry posted that picture. Surely they should and could have chosen another one.

Then Ndavaningi was cooing on social media that Launchmore could actually use a ZimSwitch debit card and had made a few purchases.

But here is the clincher, Launchmore asked whether what he bought was cheap or expensive.

For the past month, Launchmore has launched a crusade against high prices, but the fellow doesn’t know what is cheap and what is expensive.

So, what has he been fighting against all along if he doesn’t know the nature of his enemy.

Out of touch again!

Munopengaaaa!

Dr Amai. PhD (Fake)

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